| Just Like Me! |
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JUST LIKE ME! "RBC Foundation is committed to funding community programs that have a meaningful social impact. It's wonderful to see the difference Grandview Children's Centre has made in the lives of these two families, and many more, through its Family Facilitator program," Travis Capes RBC Foundation. I was in the beautifully decorated waiting room at Grandview giving my three daughters a few more minutes to play with the toys before leaving to go home for lunch. We had just come for Ireland’s, hearing test in preparation for a speech assessment. Lisa Wilson Grandview Children’s Centre’s, Family Facilitator approached us with a number of flyers about a variety of special activities that were going on for Grandview clients during the holiday season. One of her jobs is to help families from Grandview who have children with special needs, network with each other. She asked if we would be interested in meeting another family that had a child with a similar special need as our beautiful third born, Alexis. Alexis, was our special Easter gift last year. On the day she was born we discovered that she was missing part of her forearm and left hand. I later learned that this type of limb reduction (as it’s called) is quite rare. Before I had Alexis, I went to the hospital with a list of about 20 phone numbers to share the good news of the arrival of our third born arrival. I also brought a novel I was looking forward to reading during the quiet times of my three day hospital stay. But after Alexis was born, I was so distraught; I could not call one person. The book I had brought to read remained unopened for almost 2 months. At the end of May, I attended a War Amps Conference in Kingston where I had the opportunity to meet other families that had child amputees. After spending time speaking to other parents, meeting some wonderful children and young adults, and sharing stories, I was finally able to have some peace in my heart. Alexis was going to grow up to be a happy, healthy child and she would be just fine. It finally felt like I could move on with my life too, including reading for pleasure again. Unfortunately, the War Amps Conference only takes place once per year, so I was hoping to connect with a local family sharing the same experience as ours. I was excited that Lisa was able to request a search of Grandview’s database of clients to find a family match for us, but had reservations that she wouldn’t be successful at finding another special little one like Alexis in the Durham Region area. When Lisa called and told me that there was another baby - one that had the same limb difference as Alexis - I was very surprised. I couldn't believe that there was another little girl right in our community that we might get to meet. I was excited, but it was a bittersweet feeling. This baby was only a few months old and I knew exactly what her mom would be going through. While I was so happy Alexis was going to meet another little girl just the same as her, I knew that there was another mom out there dealing with the fact that her little one hadn't been born with "ten fingers and ten toes", as the expression goes. When Lisa called to tell us that the other family was as excited about meeting us as we were about meeting them, I was so happy. We eagerly waited for the date to arrive. It was so heart-warming to meet Laura, her husband, and little Marleigh. The girls spent the time looking at each other and playing together while Laura and I shared our prenatal, birth, and baby stories. Not only were we able to share with each other some of the challenges we had already faced, but we were able to share practical information as well, such as where and when Marleigh needs to visit the prosthetics clinic, how to access government programs such as Infant and Child Development and the Disability Tax Credit. Lisa was a wonderful facilitator for our families. She filled in the awkward spaces and helped guide our conversation. Her warm, encouraging nature ensured a very successful first meeting for us. During the meeting, Lisa also took wonderful pictures of Alexis and Marleigh that we will one day enjoy sharing with the girls when they get older and they ask how they first met. At our second get together at our home, my other two young daughters were mesmerized by Marleigh who was, "just like Alexis!" The babies sat with us while we just enjoyed chatting about each other's lives and our daughters. One of the things that I have learned since having Alexis that I was able to share with Marleigh’s mom, Laura, is that there are lots of well-intentioned advice and opinions that people like to give. Unfortunately, I have also learned that some people offer opinions and advice while possessing very little actual knowledge of the subject. I have learned that when you have a child with a difference, you will likely, on more than one occasion, have to be a strong advocate for your child, and that you need to find out as much as you can on your own to help you make the right decisions for your child. I’m grateful that Grandview's Family Facilitator was able to arrange Family Networking for us – a wonderful opportunity that allows families facing similar challenges and experiences to talk, share knowledge and ideas and support each other. In our situation, it also allowed our children to meet and spend time with someone who is just like them!
We are looking forward to spending many happy times with Marleigh, Laura and the rest of her family. We have even spoken about the girls attending swimming lessons together. Thank-you to Grandview Children’s
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